It's Milking Time
by The X-Filer
Summary: Mulder milks a cow...


**It's Milking Time!**

By

**The X-Filer**

**--**

Scully walked down to the basement when suddenly she heard a strange sound

'Moo!' She pushed the door opened and saw Mulder sitting at his desk, she peered around but couldn't see anything. Suddenly it came again

'Moo!' Scully's eyes went wide

"Mulder did I just hear a cow?" She asked stepping carefully over to the desk. Mulder looked up at her and smiled

"Yep!" He said standing up, Scully watched him walk out the back area and then suddenly returned with a black and white cow on a lead.

"Her name is Star bright" Mulder said patting the cow on the neck. Scully just stared

"I don't even want to know... Mulder why have you got a cow in the basement! Are you crazy?! Skinner will go mental when he finds out!" Mulder smiled at her and shook his head.

"He won't find out, that's why I hid her out the back with the filing cabinets" Scully's mouth fell open

"Mulder, it's a cow! It eats grass! How on earth did you get it past the security at the front doors?"

"Oh I didn't take it past security, I brought her through the underground parking lot and snuck her in the back door. They never suspected a thing, did they Star bright?" Mulder patted her on the head while Scully pursed her lips

"Mulder, when Skinner finds out about this, and he will, you better have a good reason for having it here!" Mulder put a hand up

"Oh but I do" Scully raised an eyebrow.

"Ok? What is it?" Mulder sat back down while Star bright wandered around the room. Scully noticed Mulder had put, what looked like, a giant nappy on the back end of the cow. She rubbed her face.

"You see Scully, all my life I go up to first floor and get a cup of tea in the mornings to find out there is no milk left, so I thought, 'hey why not get a cow and get my own milk!'..."

"Mulder why don't you just buy a carton of milk?" Scully asked dumbfounded. Mulder looked at her

"Then where am I going to put it so it doesn't go off? Plus this way it is fresh!" Scully groaned.

"Mulder, this is... this is... well I don't know what this is but you better get Starlight…."

"Star bright" he corrected

"Star bright here out before Skinner comes down!" Scully argued but Mulder wasn't listening as he stood and walked over to the cow, he turned the garbage bin upside down and sat on it

"Well it's time for my cuppa" he stated loudly starting to hand milk the cow into his coffee mug." Scully raised an eyebrow.

"Mulder, you're milking a cow in the FBI basement…" Mulder smiled as strange sounds came from Star bright

"I know, genius isn't it?!" he said. Just then they heard footsteps coming down the hall.

"Quick hide her in the back!" Scully shouted

"There's no time!" Mulder grabbed a sheet that happened to be lying on his desk and threw it over Star bright just as the door opened. Mulder leaned against the sheet.

"Mulder, Scully…" Skinner said as he walked through the door with another man behind him.

"She did it! I had nothing to do with it" Mulder pointed at Scully whose mouth fell open. Skinner gave him a strange look and continued

"… Farmer Long here has had a cow stolen from his farm, it was last seen heading into the bureau through the back way…"

"Stolen?" The words left Scully's mouth before she realised. Mulder shrugged at her.

"Permanently borrowed" he replied. Skinner gave him an odd look. Just then the sheet moved.

"Agent Mulder is there something you want to tell me?" Mulder rolled his eyes

"Yes Sir, you see I tried to stop her but Scully stole the cow" Mulder said as the sheet slid of Star bright. Scully's mouth dropped open

"Me?!" Skinner turned to her as the farmer took the cow away and back to the farm.

"Care to explain?" He asked raising an eyebrow. Scully looked at Mulder who was begging her. She sighed

"We you see sir, I temporally_ borrowed_ the cow because…" she thought for a moment then continued "…Have you ever gone up to first floor and found there is no milk left?" Skinner nodded slowly

"Yes, I have"

"Exactly! So now you know the reason" Skinner looked at her and rubbed his face

"The both of you in my office in ten minutes" he said walking out of the room leaving them alone. Scully turned on Mulder

"Are you crazy?! Why did you tell him I stole it! I had nothing to do with the cow kidnapping!" She fumed.

"Because I knew he would believe you with whatever story you came up with" Mulder smiled looking at her holding up his cup "Hey Scully?"

"What?"

"Want some milk?"

--

**A/N**

**Hey guys**

**I was extremely bored so I thought I'd write this**

**I don't expect any feedback from this, ****But I do hope you like it :)**

**Thanks for reading everyone!**

**P.S I also have another profile called Carter Crazy**

**It's a Stargate one… I have two because I want to keep my X-Filer profile X-Files only :)**

**Just thought I'd let you know in case you're over there and see a few of my humour stories rehashed :)**


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